Image by Getty Images via DaylifeI've never considered kissing that big of a deal. Everyone tells me it is a big deal because kissing is a sign of affection, and I entirely agree when people say that kissing is a major form of foreplay, but I still think it's not as big as deal as people make it out to be. Take last month for example: At OCH (Oilcan Harry's) they had this really worthy event called Harry's County Fair. Basically different organizations around the city would set up some sort of booth in the nightclub and based on the number of tickets the booth got, the organization would make a certain amount of money. The Q participated in this event and Lex asked me to find people willing to be part of the booth they had assigned to us, which turned out to be a kissing booth. The rules were very simple: Every time a person made an appropriate donation we would kiss them on the cheek – because even though I wasn't concerned – a lot of people were scared of the prospect of contracting herpes. I looked and found some great people to participate and one of the people I asked was Sony. Sony is 18 now and even though he isn't the regulation hottie that most gay men end up being attracted to, he's a total twink and every once in a while people feel like flipping through the pages of Freshman magazine rather then Men (though if you're like me you have a subscription to both and enjoy them each from cover to cover).
Sony agreed to be part of the booth but in the day of the event, at the last minute, he backed out because he had just gotten a new boyfriend. I couldn't force Sony to do it so I let him back out (which actually worked out for the best because I didn't know it then, but it was supposed to be an event for people 21 and up ONLY so Sony would have been kicked out anyway) but in my mind I couldn't stop thinking: "It's not that big of a deal, its just a kiss on the cheek. If your boyfriend can't handle you kissing people on the cheek for a worthy organization then he's a total snob like most of the men you fall for Sony." It might be wrong to think such a thing, but is a kiss on the cheek such a big thing?
I don't know about you but a kiss on the cheek is a very friendly gesture. I kiss my friends on the cheek all the time and I never think that is will result into my kissing partner and me taking a leisurely stroll down the "Friends with Benefits" road. When I go downtown I kiss quite a few people on the cheek several times because being the person who I am – lovey-dovey and touchy feely to the point of me being flirtatious 24/7 – it's just something that I enjoy to do and several other people just seem to enjoy receiving (though people could argue that the fact they start smiling is because they don't know how to react). And even then it usually doesn't go farther then that.
There have been some guys whose automatic response is, "I have a boyfriend" and my initial response to that is, "We're doing something completely innocent". If a person really does become uncomfortable by my level of flirtatiousness I stop, but more times than not people seem to agree and begin to return this harmless gesture of affection. However, it's hardly ever resulted into me and the other person romping under the sheets. Even the day before yesterday, when I was downtown, when the kissing went beyond the simple peek on the cheek and into a full blown make out session, I did not find myself exchanging numbers with the other guy at the end of the night.
Kissing is just not that big of a deal. A peek on the cheek or the lips won't result into you getting naked with the other person at the end of the night. Making out with someone doesn't mean that by the end of the night your future child will have that moment to thank for his or her conception (for everyone knows that alcohol is usually a very large factor in getting a woman impregnated). I don't care if the movies say it is because every person who's lost their virginity knows that it usually doesn't happen the way it does in the movies. The only time that happens is if you wait until marriage to have sex and that part of our cultural society is quite slim.
There are several reasons, personal and socially, that it shouldn't be a big deal and well, I'll offer one of each. Let's start with the social aspect of why kissing shouldn't be a big deal:
KISSING IS FUN. Everyone who has ever kissed someone else knows that kissing is very fun. It’s enjoyable, it turns you on, and more times than not, your kissing partner knows what they’re doing, and if they don’t you can always turn the tables by instead of kissing them on the month, you can always move down and kiss them on the neck and so forth.
Now for the personal aspect:
YOU CAN BECOME A KISSING EXPERT. I know that I don’t look like what most guys are looking for. I’m not the most attractive of men, I’m way too boy crazy, and everyone who’s ever met me agrees that I’m quite a character. However, if there’s one thing that every guy I’ve managed to ever kiss agrees on: I’m damn good at it. I’m describes to have peppermint lips and my kissing prowess has been good enough to turn on just about any guy. I’ve had people seek me out just to find out how good I am, and everyone who has, has been pleasantly surprised.
Before the big night, use a tongue scrapper. A lot of people don’t know why I suggest they use a tongue scrapped but I dated a dentist once and let me tell you, had the freshest kisses ever. I thought he just took really good care of his teeth because well, he was a dentist but one day he revealed his secret. Every time before our dates, he would scrap his tongue. This made his kisses as fresh as possible and ever since I’ve dated him, I’ve scrapped my tongue too. Doesn’t hurt, I promise.
At the restaurant, don’t eat anything smelly. This is a given to a lot of people, but if you’re going to kiss someone you want to avoid foods like garlic, onion, and cheese because they’ll stink up your breathe. The safest food to eat is salad, but even then it’s hard to avoid certain types of food. If you can’t avoid it because you’re going to go to an Italian restaurant for dinner (where garlic and cheese is served with everything) then ask the waiter if you can have some parsley or mint from the kitchen, which every restaurant has. Go into the bathroom, put it in your mouth, chew it up a bit and your breathe will be kissing ready. All you have to worry about is parsley or mint getting stuck in between your teeth, so take toothpicks too.
Start slowly, and then go in for the kill. I know it sounds kind of weird, but you don’t want to make out with your date right away. Sometimes, it good, for something like the first kiss but a perfect kiss takes some planning. Kissing is the ultimate form of foreplay and the perfect kiss has some of it’s own. If you’re unsure what I mean do what I like to do: Before making out I like to start with those little baby kisses… You know the pecks on the lips, cheeks, and other parts of the body.
Practice makes perfect. Obvious. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. Finding a kissing partner is easy. You just have to look in the right place.
And that's basically what I think about kissing. It's not that big of a deal but it should still be done with the best of someone's ability. Because even though it happens to everyone at least once and it does happen everyday, everyone still wants to be the best kisser they can be.
Sexductxy!
