What I Think: Sluts

Tonight during Trinity's Birthday the topic of being slutty came up. One of Trinity's friends that's just like he is, and said that even though she was typically called a slut, she called herself a "social engineer". I commentted that if I was a hot girl I would probably be extremely slutty. I would dress in hooker heels, wear the most revealing outfits I could find, and I would have sex with multiple and different partners almost every night. It was a good discussion, and more entertaining than heated, and it got me thinking: Is being a slut such a bad thing, and why does it have to be associated with something negative?

When someone says the word "slut" the first image that comes to someone's mind if what the dictionary defines as a slut: An immoral woman, who's loose, an adulteress, and in all respect of the word, a prostitute. After reading this definition I couldn't help to disagree with it. First of all, even though I do agree that sluts are loose and somewhat easy, if that definition is accurate that means that I've been slutting it up all these years. I have a flirtatious and bold nature and it could be argued that I'm immoral and loose. Also, it can be argued that almost everyone, including my friends can be accused of being a slut. Many at one time or another, can be (and have been) accused of being "easy".

But really, do sluts deserve to have such a bad definition associated with their name? Why are sluts receiving the short end of the stick? Sluts can be men or women, but in my mind sluts haven't done anything cruel or hateful towards others. Actually, when you think about it, they've done the complete opposite. The world we live in today is filled with much more pressing issues like a failing economy, the bullying epidemic, and a continuing war of terror which isn't getting that much better (after all, Terror is part of human nature, but that's a blog post for another day). These issues should be viewed with much more attention than someone's fondness for spreading their legs open.

I think sluts have done nothing wrong. If you think my point is misguided then let's look at a group of people that are the opposite of sluts. A group that claims to be moral and only wants the best for other people: Christian Family groups.

For the record, I have nothing against Christians. I am Christian myself (Episcopalian) but really, these Christian Family groups have fucking lost their minds. For example, the Family Research Council (FRC) claims that gay people are nothing but pedophiles and pushing a pedophile agenda. They claim that religious freedom and sanctity fails whenever a Gay Rights Bill is passed. The American Family Association (AFA) credits gay people in orchestrating the Holocaust and causing the death of over six million Jews. In short, these groups are so adamant in putting gay people in a bad light that they are lying to anyone who will listen. That's very unchristian in nature.

I think Margaret Cho said it best in her stand up comedy show "Assassin". To quote her, "They have no right to call themselves Christians because they have no Christianity to them. They have no kindness, they have no compassion, no charity. I want Jesus to come back and say 'THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!'"

But seriously, at the end of the day, I think that we should acknowledge and applaud sluts for their contribution to the world. We shouldn't judge, ridicule or chastise them for being "friendly" towards others. After all, they are spreading love by spreading their legs, not hate. Moreover, I think the world needs more flirtatious, affectionate, and yes, even easy beings. The world needs more sluts... And I for one, am proud to be counted as one among them.

SEXDUCTXY!

Go ahead, hate on me...

I tend to be a pretty nervous person. Because I have self paranoia and probably care what people think about me a little more than I should I get really nervous when things aren't going the way I hoped they would. Last night I almost had a nervous breakdown because things weren't panning out they way the were. I'm OK, but I felt horrible for most of the day and I couldn't get myself to sleep.

Why do I care so much? Everyone cares what others think of them but I believe that sometimes I care way too much about what others think about me. I know I can't be the only one that feels this way because all humans have that innate desire to be liked, to be extraordinary, to be popular. It might sound completely cruel, but I've found the more popular you are the easier it is to have things go your way. It's like popularity is currency and we're always looking to have more.

In high school I was one the popular kids. In middle school I wasn't popular at all and the summer before high school I basically stopped caring. I decided that it was a waste of time to care so much what people thought of me. If I wanted to dance and sing I would do so. If I wanted to be inappropriate I would do so. Basically, I decided I would do whatever the fuck I wanted, and if someone had a problem with them they could fuck off. Strangely enough, this lack of caring and confidence of doing whatever I wanted made me popular.

My popularity was sort of an unexpected occurrence. I started noticing that people would say "Hello" to me in the halls when I didn't know who that person was. People started to pay attention to what I would do and when people mentioned DC everyone knew it was me that they were talking about. Basically I became a "trend" and began to get "followed" without really meaning to. Like the paparazzi studies celebrities I was studied by my fellow peers and I have to admit, it felt good.

However, becoming popular doesn't comes with it repercussions because I started caring again. If someone said anything negative about me I wanted to know what they said, why the said it, who had they told and what I could do to change their minds. However, as I realize what I've just said, I have to admit that it sounds very pathetic. One shouldn't have to care so much. One shouldn't have to live by what other say about them because at the end of the day the opinions that matter the most are the opinions that person makes about themselves.

And so in the spirit of this new found realization I make these declarations onto you now.

If you have a problem with me have the cahones to tell it to my face. Basically, if you have a problem with me don't be a little bitch about it and whine about it to other people. How does that change things? How does that fix the issue you have with me? It doesn't and really all you're doing is being petty. Also, in most circumstances the people who say these things haven't sat down and gotten to really know me which brings me to declaration #2.

First impressions are bullshit. First impressions are important but often times first impressions offer little truths. If you meet me and I say something that makes you uncomfortable don't think for a second that you know me because you really don't. Saying you know someone after meeting them once is like saying you don't lie on job applications: not true. If I've made a negative first impression on you think of all the people you've made negative first impressions on. Chances are these first impressions don't reflect the person you are at all so don't think your first impression of me reflects who I am.

Fuck with me and I will fuck you right back. If you say something negative about me to someone else I will learn about it. I don't like people who bullshit with me so if you do you can expect me to confront you about it. I've said many times that I'm a big believer of telling people what I think of them when I first meet them. This doesn't change. I will call you out on your BS and I will be a bitch to you when I do.

Now, don't get me wrong. My real friends know that I'm pretty cool person when you get to know me. I like to tell my friends that I appreciate them often, I genuinely care about other people and will only get nasty if I need to. Basically, after you get to know me you come to realize that I make a pretty badass friend, but that also means I can be a very fierce enemy.

SEXDUCTXY!

The old transportation blues...

Having a car is a big part of living in the big city. Unless the city you live in is big enough to have a subway system, you pretty much need a car to get anywhere you want to get to quickly. Don't get me wrong, I know plenty of people who have bikes and I do think Austin's bus system is pretty reliable, but ever since I lost my car getting from point A to point B has been a struggle for me.

I lost my car, Coco the Corolla, nearly three years ago. It was a cold and rainy November day and Pisha and I were driving down one of Austin's busiest streets. We were slowing down to a stop at a red light when Coco decided it was a good time for it to hydroplane. This made my car crash to a car in front of us, and even though the car in front of us was fine, Coco wasn't. My hood bent in two and pieces that should have been inside my car flew out of my car making my car useless. After about a week, I took a mechanic to the car lot where my car was being held hostage and he told me that the car would cost more to fix than it was worth so that meant I no longer had a car.

Having no car for this long truly sucks. Not only do I have to depend on other people to get around Austin, but I have to make sure I have a ride from one place to another AND back before I even think of going out. Because of the car issue I've had to cancel plans to go downtown, to go to parties, and even worse, plans to do something meaningful like volunteer work simply because I didn't have a way to get there or back home. Some people I've met have truly been generous by giving me a ride, but I always feel like a nuisance when I ask for a ride.

I could take the bus, but a lot of times a bus route won't take me close to where I need to go. Also, if I'm out volunteering, some of the events I do happen at night and end after the bus stops running for the day. I once went downtown and was left down there by one of my friends after he saw his ex and freaked out so much he forgot about me. Having no other way to get home I decided to walk over 30 blocks to get to a bus stop, and then had to wait in 40 - 50 degree weather for a bus to pick me up shortly before 6 AM to only get a walkable distance from home.

If you live up north 40 - 50 degrees isn't that cold, but to someone who lives in Austin, TX where it's over 90 degrees 6 months out of the year, 40 - 50 degrees is cold. Also, it didn't help that I got followed by what most likely was an insane person who - by what he said - could and has probably read my blog. The walk home wasn't good either since when you walk from where I did you have walk downhill and uphill so much that it wears you out. Basically, what I'm saying is that night sucked, and all because I didn't have a car.

The blunt of not having a car not only hurts me but also my family. My dad ends up being my ride to a lot of places and because he feels responsible to me he can't do a lot of things he probably wants to do and has to put me into consideration before doing anything. Because of my terrible driving skills (might I add I've actually never been driving my car when I actually lost them) there is a 0% chance he'll let me borrow his car if he ever does decide to go do something where his car won't be needed.

This has led to some of my other family members (older siblings) saying that I'm using my parents. Bitches, you guys have cars and I don't. If I need to get to school because the closest bus stop to my campus is an hour away on foot, and I don't know the people in my class well enough yet to ask them for rides, I don't have a choice but to ask my mom and dad. It's not using them if it's necessary. It's either that or miss school entirely.

There are not only these factors but others as well. For example, if I'm going to be going to a week-long event like aGLIFF I need to set up a carpool system to see if I can get a ride to and back home from aGLIFF. If I can't get a ride there I could use the bus to get down there, but if I don't have a ride home I have to go home at the end of my shift rather than getting to stay to see a movie because the movie finishes after the buses stop running.

If I'm going to a day-long event I have to make sure I can get to the first point before I do the other points. I also have to ask someone if I can get a ride home if I'm unfamiliar with the place I'm going to. This, of course, makes me feel like an annoyance and makes me think that I shouldn't have bothered to volunteer in the first place, even if my work was excellent and the small detour they made wasn't a big deal at all.

All these factors, and more make having no car majorly suck. I can only hope that the patron gods of transportation bless me with a car soon, because I guarantee, you never really know how much you appreciate a car until you actually lose it...

SEXDUCTXY!