Even though I didn't get a lot of comments in the blog I did get a lot of responses about my last post. One of my friends on Facebook suggested I write down a list of what I want in a boyfriend. I've been told to do it before and I decided I might as well. Many people believe that if you write down what you want, you'll send out a message to the universe and the universe will give you what you want. It's like having a vision board - another thing I need to do one of these days.
I decided to share the list with you, and give reasons to why I want this in a boyfriend.
1) I want a boyfriend who is attractive. It sounds shallow, I know, but attraction I feel is sometimes a tricky subject to judge. Even though it's incredibly cliche, the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" holds a lot of truth when you talk about attraction. People who I've found physically unattractive have become completely desirable after I get to know them, and people who I've found physically attractive have become completely undesirable after I learn how much of a douche bag that they are. Also, attractive people themselves sometimes find themselves unattractive because we, as humans, have a tendency to amplify the most unattractive features about ourselves and in turn begin to judge how truly beautiful we are. I guess a better way to phrase #1 is I want a boyfriend who I find attractive - inside and out.
2) I want a boyfriend who finds boldness refreshing. My boldness is sometimes one of my most damaging qualities. I tend to talk about things that no one else would really talk about casually, mostly because I find the subject interesting and it will start a conversation. There are normal subjects like music, movies, and food, but I find these subjects won't start long conversations, unless you go really in depth. However, if you talk about something like someone's first time or their sexual fantasies, you don't only learn more about the person in general but also learn something more interesting than whether they enjoy crawfish or not.
3) I want a boyfriend who is affectionate. One of the first things people learn about me if that I'm very lovey-dovey and touchy feely. I enjoy giving out hugs for no real reason and I enjoy kissing very much. A lot of people get uncomfortable with giving and receiving affection, even if its in private. I want a boyfriend who wouldn't mind it.
4) I want a boyfriend who's not overly possessive. I might like being affectionate with my boyfriend but like I mentioned in my last post I need some time to myself. If my boyfriend is too possessive of me it opens a can of worms that just can't be solved, for there are certain things about me that a possessive boyfriend just can't accept. I'm way too boy-crazy for my own good, I hug EVERYONE, and I don't want to hang out everyday. Possessive boyfriends do care a lot (sometimes way too much) about these things because they are constantly questioning their boyfriend's faithfulness and that just won't fly with me.
5) I want a boyfriend who is happy. I want a boyfriend who is generally happy. It doesn't mean they can't have bad days or be in a foul mood once-in-a-while but I tend to be hopeful and look at the glass half full, even in points in my life when I had every right not to. I learned how to cheer myself up and I want someone who is independent enough to do that. If you look Emo that's fine as Emo boys are hot, but I'm not looking for someone who needs someone to constantly cheer them up. If you can cheer me up too than I'll return the favor, but if you can't pick yourself up every once-in-a-while then we just won't work.
6) I want a boyfriend who is empathic. Even though I'm not Emo I am generally someone who operates on his feelings. I tend to have very strong emotions and beliefs and I want someone who is sensitive to that. My boyfriend doesn't have to agree to them, but I do want him to understand where I'm coming from. It's never been bad (I've never been described as bipolar), but I do have a thought process that 0perates differently from others.
7) I want a boyfriend who is boy-crazy, yet monogamous. This one is mostly for similarity purposes. I tend to admire many men, be very boy-crazy, and be very flirtatious. For some reason I developed a very flirtatious nature (I flirt without even trying) and often times I will tell someone they're hot if I think they are. I'm not looking for anything in particular when I compliment someone - I just like to encourage people. As a Pisces though, I tend to be very monogamous despite my boy-crazy, flirtatious nature so I wouldn't cheat on someone. I want someone who does the same. We can even do it together and double-team the hot guys!
8) I want a boyfriend with a good sense of humor. My friends and I have a lot of inside jokes and stories about each other, and we have the tendency of telling them to other people all the time. If you can laugh along with us we'll love you even if we don't work out.
9) I want a boyfriend with a big cock. Now this one is shallow. I'm a bottom and sex is generally more pleasurable if you have a nice, big cock. You might be thinking, "But DC, it's the motion of the ocean that counts, not the size of the boat." That might be true, but I've found that the bigger the vessel, the better the ocean feels.
This list can grow and change overtime, but for now these are the things I want in a boyfriend. If there is anything you think I should add or reconsider leave me a comment!
SEXDUCTXY!
PS In the near future I'll most likely be making and posting videos of me up in the blog. If you would like to hear my opinion about something or hear me speak about a topic leave me a comment and I'll consider using your idea for one of my videos!
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Monday, January 10, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
What I Think: Relationships and Singledom
For the past 6 years I've been single. Sure, I've gone on dates, I've had sex with people, but ever since my junior year in high school I haven't been in a relationship where I could refer to the other person as my boyfriend. There have been countless "the person I'm seeing", "the person I'm dating", and even "the person I'm fucking" but there has never been an actual boyfriend. While most people say that a person can only be single by choice, it unfortunately has never been a choice for me.
My friends tell me that I'm single because I'm picky, and perhaps I am, but there have been many people who I'm interested in but in no way shape or form are interested in me. The people in the previous posts usually weren't in the picture for long and most of them didn't involve that much physical contact, aside from the ones who I fucked. But even then, the ones who I slept with only slept with me for the sake of sleeping with someone, not because they actually felt any intimacy for me.
I've tried all the traditional methods. I've tried meeting people in parties, bars, and other social venues but there was never much success there. I've tried dating and hook up websites but I think I must be somewhat unattractive online because I hardly ever get messaged or even replied to. I gone speed dating, but even though I did get dates out of that, it never escalated to the point where I that person became a boyfriend.
I have to admit though, being single when so many of my friends aren't has taken a toll on me. In fact, for the last 9 months I haven't dated or had sex with anyone, which is actually really depressing. Also, it's gotten so bad that I crave even the bad things in relationships. Tonight, Hilton and his boyfriend had a very big dramatic blowout, and while we were consoling Hilton's boyfriend I actually became jealous. You know it's bad when you begin to desire the rough patches of a relationship.
I do think that I am probably a very hard person to date, because there are several factors when I date that I'd like my boyfriend to follow which probably aren't very common.
1) I don't want to see you everyday. While most people would love to see their significant other daily I prefer to see mine only three or four days out of the week. It's not that I don't enjoy their company. If I didn't I would be dating them, but if I see my boyfriend daily I soon get bored of them and every little thing they do irritates me. Actually, for all of my high school career my boyfriend ALWAYS attended another school. My boyfriend can contact me everyday, but as far as seeing me "not that often" works best at first.
2) I need "me" time. This one couple a lot with the first reason but I've never been a fan of how when people date they turn from a me to a we. "Sure, I'll go" turns into "Sure, we'll go" and things that your friend would have jumped to do suddenly has to be checked with the other person. I feel that when someone turns from an I to an Us, it's a sign of losing of one's self and independence. Even though I do think that similar interests make an relationship amazing my boyfriend and I don't have to have all the same interests. We don't have to have the same network of friends, and since I wouldn't be an asset of every part of my boyfriend's life I don't expect him to be an asset of mine. Basically, what I'm saying is that I want to do something by myself or with some of my friends not involving my boyfriend, I don't want him to be offended.
3) Finally, if it ever escalates into the process of us living together I insist on having my own room. This is one many people have a trouble understanding. If you live together it's so people can sleep in the same room, can share the same living space and just be together. If I live with someone I probably would share a room with them, sleep in the same bed with them, and have an equal share of many of our possessions but I still need a place in my apartment that is just me. I need a place where I can just be by myself and unwind. It doesn't really have to be a room, but I need a place where I can keep my own stuff and a place where everything is not equal share.
All these factors make me a very hard person to be with, I understand, but the sad thing is that for the last 6 years I've never really been able to explain these things to someone I care to be intimate with. I mean, who knows, maybe if I do get that now "rare-as-a-unicorn" boyfriend I would prefer to see him daily, do everything with him, and if we do someday live together not invest in a space for myself, but so far we haven't found each other... Though I desperately want to.
The point I'm trying to make is that I'm tired of being alone. I don't want to spend a 7th Valentine's Day without someone to share it with. I don't want to turn 25 without a guy who isn't a family member or a friend calling to say, "Happy Birthday and I love you." I want the romance, I want the intimacy, and I want to be with someone. It might be pathetic or completely normal, but it hard to think something is normal when I start to recognize that this post sounds like a pity post and not a WIT post.
So, for now, I will take solace and hope in the fact that this point of unwanted celibacy won't last forever. One day I will find someone who doesn't mind my quirks, doesn't mind the twisted way I think, and will love kissing as much as I do. Until then, I will try to make the most of being single and free and take time to just breathe...
SEXDUCTXY!
My friends tell me that I'm single because I'm picky, and perhaps I am, but there have been many people who I'm interested in but in no way shape or form are interested in me. The people in the previous posts usually weren't in the picture for long and most of them didn't involve that much physical contact, aside from the ones who I fucked. But even then, the ones who I slept with only slept with me for the sake of sleeping with someone, not because they actually felt any intimacy for me.
I've tried all the traditional methods. I've tried meeting people in parties, bars, and other social venues but there was never much success there. I've tried dating and hook up websites but I think I must be somewhat unattractive online because I hardly ever get messaged or even replied to. I gone speed dating, but even though I did get dates out of that, it never escalated to the point where I that person became a boyfriend.
I have to admit though, being single when so many of my friends aren't has taken a toll on me. In fact, for the last 9 months I haven't dated or had sex with anyone, which is actually really depressing. Also, it's gotten so bad that I crave even the bad things in relationships. Tonight, Hilton and his boyfriend had a very big dramatic blowout, and while we were consoling Hilton's boyfriend I actually became jealous. You know it's bad when you begin to desire the rough patches of a relationship.
I do think that I am probably a very hard person to date, because there are several factors when I date that I'd like my boyfriend to follow which probably aren't very common.
1) I don't want to see you everyday. While most people would love to see their significant other daily I prefer to see mine only three or four days out of the week. It's not that I don't enjoy their company. If I didn't I would be dating them, but if I see my boyfriend daily I soon get bored of them and every little thing they do irritates me. Actually, for all of my high school career my boyfriend ALWAYS attended another school. My boyfriend can contact me everyday, but as far as seeing me "not that often" works best at first.
2) I need "me" time. This one couple a lot with the first reason but I've never been a fan of how when people date they turn from a me to a we. "Sure, I'll go" turns into "Sure, we'll go" and things that your friend would have jumped to do suddenly has to be checked with the other person. I feel that when someone turns from an I to an Us, it's a sign of losing of one's self and independence. Even though I do think that similar interests make an relationship amazing my boyfriend and I don't have to have all the same interests. We don't have to have the same network of friends, and since I wouldn't be an asset of every part of my boyfriend's life I don't expect him to be an asset of mine. Basically, what I'm saying is that I want to do something by myself or with some of my friends not involving my boyfriend, I don't want him to be offended.
3) Finally, if it ever escalates into the process of us living together I insist on having my own room. This is one many people have a trouble understanding. If you live together it's so people can sleep in the same room, can share the same living space and just be together. If I live with someone I probably would share a room with them, sleep in the same bed with them, and have an equal share of many of our possessions but I still need a place in my apartment that is just me. I need a place where I can just be by myself and unwind. It doesn't really have to be a room, but I need a place where I can keep my own stuff and a place where everything is not equal share.
All these factors make me a very hard person to be with, I understand, but the sad thing is that for the last 6 years I've never really been able to explain these things to someone I care to be intimate with. I mean, who knows, maybe if I do get that now "rare-as-a-unicorn" boyfriend I would prefer to see him daily, do everything with him, and if we do someday live together not invest in a space for myself, but so far we haven't found each other... Though I desperately want to.
The point I'm trying to make is that I'm tired of being alone. I don't want to spend a 7th Valentine's Day without someone to share it with. I don't want to turn 25 without a guy who isn't a family member or a friend calling to say, "Happy Birthday and I love you." I want the romance, I want the intimacy, and I want to be with someone. It might be pathetic or completely normal, but it hard to think something is normal when I start to recognize that this post sounds like a pity post and not a WIT post.
So, for now, I will take solace and hope in the fact that this point of unwanted celibacy won't last forever. One day I will find someone who doesn't mind my quirks, doesn't mind the twisted way I think, and will love kissing as much as I do. Until then, I will try to make the most of being single and free and take time to just breathe...
SEXDUCTXY!
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